Sounds of a millennial’s youth: Simlish and swishy pants

The hills are alive with the sound of my Sky Dancer hitting the ceiling.

I’m a core millennial, born in ‘91. I have a whole Midnight in Paris-style longing (sorry to reference Woody Allen!) to have been a teen during the mid-to-late ’90s instead of stuck in elementary school.

Imagine being at a party hearing LFO’s “Summer Girls” and knowing, I am the summer girl Rich Cronin sings of. I wear Abercrombie & Fitch. Or maybe an 18-year-old version of me would’ve thought I was too cool for that song? I might’ve been more into Shirley Manson, idk. Imagine seeing Run Lola Run or Being John Malkovich in theaters during college. I would’ve been insufferable.

When I reminisce on the late ‘90s and early ‘00s, I can remember the taste of Dunkaroos and I can still feel the material of those weird stretchy popcorn tops. And so many sounds still ring in my ear, including a lot that were specific to coming of age in that period. See if any of these ring a bell for you and chime in with what I missed.

Sounds of my millennial youth

Dial-up internet

Not to be morbid but I feel like if I came back to life after being medically dead for a few seconds, my body would involuntarily make the dial-up internet sound as I rebooted.

It’s insane that if you were online, no one could call your house. Sorry there’s an emergency Grandpa, unfortunately my parents will never know about it because I’m going on hour three of lurking in the Degrassi message boards.

Anyone else use Earthlink back then?

Simlish

I’m not fluent in Simlish, I wish I were. I understand it more than I can speak it.

Life was never better (not even my wedding day) than when I was playing The Sims, which should’ve been on my sexual awakening list. I only had the original version that let your Sims make out until a baby appeared, but I loved when I was at a friend’s house and discovered they had the expansion pack with the heart bed. Titillating.

Remember when Katy Perry did a song in Simlish. How did she get through "yarby dansel dabel doops" with a straight face?

“Mesothelioma”

This word echoes in my head. Mesothelioma seemed like a constant threat in the ‘90s, though I had no clue what asbestos was.

I’m nine years old, watching Recess at 9 am and I hear that man say, “if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma…” That sounds scary. Someone call my Grandma and let her know about this. Jk it can wait, don’t kick me off the internet!!

Swishy pants

Did I make up this term? You know what I mean, right. Every boy in elementary school rocked a swishy pant and you could hear him coming a mile away. Bonus nostalgia points if they were tearaway too.

Compilation CD infomercials

Any hour of the day, you’d turn on the TV and see an ad for those cheesy CD sets. If you were lucky, you’d get a Now That's What I Call Music! commercial, but it was usually soft ballads like the Ultimate Love Song Collection. Thirty-six beautiful songs for $16.99. At the time I was like “booooring, where’s BSB.” Now in my 30s, all I want to hear is “These Dreams” by Heart.

I also remember this Shirley Temple collection infomercial, and Yanni! Always Yanni. I watched too much TV growing up.

Sliding your graphing calculator out of its case

I was and remain bad at math, but that plasticky slide-and-click motion made me feel so cool. Hell yeah, time for cosine. Why were we unsheathing our TI-83s like they were weapons?

TV theme songs

Soooo many good ones. Some of my faves that come to mind:

• Arthur - Ziggy Marley deserved a Peabody for this. "And I say hey! / What a wonderful kind of day"

• Growing Pains - More of an ‘80s show that I watched every day in the ‘90s. Its theme is a real mood booster (“show me that smile ooOOoo show me that smile”). Mike Seaver (NOT Kirk Cameron) — another sexual awakening I forgot on my list.

• The Wonder Years - Don’t make me emotional.

• Doug - doo doo doo doo doo doo DOO DOO. No lyrics necessary.

• Bug Juice - I NEED IT ON STREAMING before summer officially starts.

• As Told By Ginger - I wouldn’t have thought to get a raspy Macy Gray to sing a children’s TV theme and that’s why I’m not a music supervisor.

• All That - Coolest show theme, not even close.

Recorders playing “Hot Cross Buns”

We all learned the recorder. Why? So much spit. Our poor parents had to attend a concert for a fake instrument that was too shrill and squeaky to qualify as music. But I can’t argue with the catchiness of “Hot Cross Buns.” Killer tune.

The AIM door

I still remember my crush’s screen name. He didn’t spend much time on AIM (good for his parents) and often I’d hear the door opening sound — telling me he logged on — but before he would even send me a “sup,” the door would shut in my face. Heartbreak.

Kids these days can text any time. The patience and pining of waiting for a text back isn’t the same as not even having a direct line to your crush. We could call their house but then you’d have to talk to their PARENTS.

My parents’ printer

We were alwayssss printing. Usually MapQuest directions for my travel soccer team (not to brag!!). How many divorces were caused by couples trying to follow MapQuest directions? The next phase of navigation was noisier: a Garmin GPS that stuck to my mom’s windshield and constantly fell right as she was making a crucial turn.

The suspenseful Who Wants to Be a Millionaire music

In the ‘70s, the Jaws theme terrified Boomers. In ‘99, we had the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire instrumental to induce stress. Have we ever figured out a good multiple choice strategy btw? When in doubt, guess C? Or was it B?

You know my favorite Millionaire moment, I think it’s everyone’s. “Hi Dad, I don’t really need your help…” Regis loved it!!

The ear piercing gun

Specifically at Claire’s in the mall, located right by the food court. That’s what you want to hear while you eat Panda Express. A child screaming and crying while a 16-year-old employee pierces their skin with a GUN. I’ve only gotten a few piercings, but I’ll never forget the pain, shock, and sound of this experience.

Doesn’t a gun seem like a barbaric way to start your accessory journey? Can’t believe no one’s tried to cancel the piercing gun. You can buy these on Amazon 😱.

The same commercials on repeat

My favorite from back then was of course the Sears air conditioning one. You might remember it as “Another Scorcher.” The married couple (clearly she carried the mental load) had some fun banter:

“I'll call today.”

“You'll call now.”

“I’ll call now.”

There was also:

• Dude you’re gettin a Dell

• Waaaasssssupppp

• Zoom zoom (okay, whispering child who’s probably haunted)

• Yo quiero Taco Bell (RIP pup)

That Windows pinball game

When my parents finally did kick me off the internet, I had to settle for playing the pinball game that came installed on every Windows desktop. I wasn’t especially good at it nor did I really enjoy it, but it allowed me to sit in the computer chair a little longer.

Opening and closing my Spacemaker pencil case

People talk about a crispy Diet Coke. How about the crisp, satisfying snap of your new pencil case on the first day of school? Especially knowing there were gel pens in there.

The Walt Disney Pictures opening

Those opening notes were Pavlovian for me. Same for the Pixar opening. Ahh yes, time to watch a heavily sanitized retelling of Pocahontas.

Bop-It

I blame Bop-It for everyone’s anxiety. Why did we have a toy that gave us progressively faster orders to the point of panic. Not to sound like a right-wing conspiracy theorist but was this like a government device created to make us behave like robots, taking automatic direction? Anyway, I liked playing with it.

Kodak disposable camera

I miss that wind-and-click combo. You could only take like twenty-something photos with Kodak disposables, so every snap was high stakes and mine never turned out that great.

The iconic Law & Order “DUN DUN”

I’m eight years old at my grandma’s house and we’re about to settle in for an hourlong tale of molestation in the big city. Even now, I blame Dick Wolf for my relatives’ misconception of New York City crime.

Beanie Babies

It was subtle, but don’t you remember the sound of those crunchy little bean-filled animals? Just like when you’d flop down on a beanbag chair. I’m not going to look it up and make my algorithm any worse, but I guarantee Beanie Baby ASMR is a thing.

Mario Kart

I missed out by not having a Nintendo 64, but when my brother finally got a GameCube, we became fully addicted to Mario Kart Double Dash, which was an auditory experience. The coin ding sound. Luigi’s “I’m the weiner.” Rainbow Road’s theme song. How cunt was Rainbow Road. Now I’m just saying words.

Furbies

I never need to do a séance. I endured enough terror when my Furby turned on by itself in the middle of the night. You were supposed to be able to train them to learn Furbish new phrases and songs but of course I never had the patience for that, and my Furby never progressed.

Meanwhile, in 2025:

• I had jury duty in Brooklyn all week! I actually really enjoyed the experience and the camaraderie among the jurors when we awarded lots of $$$ in damages to our plaintiff. Would do it again. When forced to in 8+ years.

• Finally visited the Guggenheim. Anyone else scared of heights and too spooked to stand near the “railing” there? The art did not affect me as much as a fear of being accidentally bumped into a deadly fall.

• Devoured the book Sky Daddy. I’ve avoided weird girl fiction lately because a lot of it has depressive energy and feels like it’s weird just for the sake of it. This took a bizarre concept — woman sexually attracted to planes and convinced it’s her fate to marry one aka die in a plane crash — and told it in an accessible way.

• Saw the A24 movie Friendship with Tim Robinson and Paul Rudd and loved it. If you’re allergic to cringe comedy, you probably won’t.

• Ate at Via Carota (ordered the pesto pasta on special, don’t recommend), Montague Diner (grilled cheese and tomato soup again, pretty good), and Bagizza (margherita pizza on flattened bagel, also fine)

Guggenheim. Scarier than it looks.