Mapping my sexual awakening across pop culture

I’m brave to admit some of these.

One day you’re watching a family sitcom, maybe an animated movie, and suddenly like Kylie Jenner, you’re…realizing stuff. These are my moments of realization.

Johnny Bravo

Looking back, his wannabe womanizing is extremely unsexy. Even though he’d inevitably strike out with hot chicks in every ep, the possibility that something steamy MIGHT happen was enough to hook me.

To be clear, I wasn’t much of a Cartoon Network watcher growing up. I knew it was giving latchkey kid vibes. And I was a latchkey kid for much of my childhood, so I craved the wholesomeness of the Disney channel. But when I wanted the sex appeal of a Johnny Bravo or Sailor Moon, I knew where to go.

Sam Rockwell in Charlie’s Angels

Especially when he’s dancing to Got to Give It Up in the black tank, kissing Kelly Lynch on the neck, and Drew Barrymore’s watching, still wrapped up in her post-coital bedsheet. A lot going on! All of it hot to 9-year-old me.

Cameron Diaz in The Mask

I’m straight (boring) but Cameron Diaz is so undeniably sexy in this role, I was impacted. When Jim Carrey was like this:

So was I.

Jack drawing Rose in Titanic

Hello, I’m a millennial. Now married to a man who always wants to draw me.

Any time Steve Urkel turned into Stefan

Male characters aren’t usually subjected to the “sexy librarian takes off her glasses” moment, but this was the rare instance and it WORKED on me. And how fun for Jaleel White to show off his range.

Powerline from A Goofy Movie

It’s all in the hips. Doesn’t hurt that his songs are actually good.

The Ten Commandments

Although I’m not in the God squad, I have to admit the Bible is iconic and I loved this movie growing up. Everyone’s half naked. Everyone has sexual tension. If you’re assuming I was into Charlton Heston and that thick head of hair — no, I was a bald Yul Brynner girl. This scene between Rameses and Nefretiri was the spiciest thing I’d seen at the time.

Jordan from Holiday in the Sun

He was so pretty (almost too pretty), Mary Kate and Ashley had to cast him in So Little Time too!

AJ from the Backstreet Boys

I publicly identified as a Nick girl (hasn’t aged well) to fit in with my peers, but AJ (bad boy of the group) stirred something in me that Nick and the others never could.

Kocoum in Pocahontas

A beautiful man. A beautiful chest. When Pocahontas sang, “Should I marry Kocoum?” I was like yeah girl. Disney wanted us to feel feelings, that's why their films are full of subliminal messages.

Men in leather jackets

John Travolta in Grease. The Fonz on Happy Days. Uncle Jesse on Full House. If a man couldn’t be shirtless, I wanted him in leather.

The dirty dancing in Dirty Dancing

I can’t attribute this to just Patrick Swayze, but the entire ensemble when Baby carries a watermelon into an illicit underworld of grinding. Game-changer for me.

I still love this film. Ideal runtime. Incredible soundtrack. Demonstrates the importance of safe abortion access.

Lola Bunny

Is it upsetting how many animated characters I’ve included in this list? With regard to Lola Bunny, showing midriff went a long way for me as a child. Jasmine from Aladdin too. It was my dream in life to grow up and show my stomach. And sometimes I do.

Feel free to share your sexual awakening(s) in the comments.

And shout-out to my in-laws, who I know read this. Love you guys!

Other important thoughts

• If you want to cry, watch We Live in Time on Max. Love Florence Pugh. I try to cry for about a minute every other day. It’s what keeps me so even-keeled.

• Happy Super Bowl Sunday! Something I rarely talk about is how I like football now. The Netflix docuseries Quarterback combined with the Jason Kelce doc is what changed me. The Chiefs three-peat is a good storyline but the juxtaposition between Jalen Hurts not giving a fuck about Trump attending the game + having an all female management team vs. Travis Kelce’s “it’s a great honor” answer re: Trump sealed the deal. Go Birds. I feel bad the Bills missed out again this year, but are people talking about how Josh Allen and Hailee Steinfeld (engaged) look exactly alike down to a matching freckle under their right eye?

• Currently obsessed with these chocolate greek yogurt bars. The strawberry one is a legit treat. Still an ultraprocessed food though. God, I wish I’d never taken that NYT quiz!!